On hypothetical questions, cancelled vacations and snow

A few weeks ago I foolishly and imprudently asked some of you if you would be in the city for Thanksgiving. It was supposed to be a hypothetical question, but in asking it I capriciously and erroneously led you to believe that I would be home for Thanksgiving. This was specious, spurious, ungrounded and unsound. I apologize sincerely. I deserve to be mocked and scorned, sneered at, ridiculed and flogged. Perhaps someone should even take my thesaurus away from me.

Rumors that I might be coming home abounded. Soon I was getting e-mails and phone calls left and right (and willy-nilly, and helter-skelter). Who knew I was so popular? Apparently, since I've been gone New York has suffered a shortage of petite brunettes willing to dance drunkenly on tables in public places. Ah, it's good to be missed.

However, I regret to inform you that I am a very important person and I have more pressing things to do with my Thanksgiving vacation than come home to New York. Instead of seeing old friends, enjoying a meal that doesn't start with the word "mac" and dancing drunkenly on tables in public places, I will be curled up in a tight ball under my bed, whimpering, "Why law school? Why?" over and over again.

If this isn't sad enough, HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE WEATHER REPORT??? Snow yesterday, snow today, snow Friday, snow Saturday. I may as well be living in Fargo. At 8:00 tonight, when I finally left the law building and made my painful way home, the temperature "felt like" 7 degrees (weather.com's scientific designation, not mine).

On a lighter note, I managed to find snow boots with 3-inch heels and am now happily tromping around outside, smug in the knowledge that under my pants I'm secretly impractical.

Repeat after me: I will survive the midwest, I WILL survive the midwest...