For those of you who don’t blog, this might sound a little creepy. But if you have a website, there’s this thing you can do where you can see what geographic areas your readers are in. So if you live in, say, Podunk, Idaho, and you click on my blog, I can see that someone in Idaho is reading my blog. (It’s not actually that enlightening, except for some reason I seem to have an inordinate number of readers from Massachusetts. I have no explanation for that.)
The other creepy/nifty thing you can do is see if people found your website through an internet search. So if someone in California types “law school duck thailand” into google and then clicks on my blog from there, I can see how they found me. Again, I’m not sure how useful this is, but it’s kind of interesting.
So even though I’ve already managed to insult Sweden, Brazil, and people who watch The Amazing Race, I now have to ask, Argentina, what is wrong with you? Whenever someone in Argentina clicks on my blog, it’s the result of a really messed up google search. While I find it somewhat baffling that people in a Spanish-speaking country type their internet searches in English, I find it especially baffling that these same people are interested in “sex with a duck,” “dirty naked bowels,” “put balloon full of mustard up ass,” and the ever-popular “lactation porn.” Lactation porn? Why, Argentina, why?
On the other hand, I do feel somewhat vindicated that there are a lot of people out there looking for a solution to “volvo car door frozen shut” “volvo locks frozen” and “volvo bad winter performance,” and just plain, “volvo sucks.” Ha. Take that, Volvo.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
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15 comments:
Funky google searches make me laugh. Sometimes they freak me out a little though. Like the freak that is searching for "THAT (insert freaky porn reference here)" found my nice innocent blog with pictures of my child? Scary. Oh, and as a sidenote. When I promised you would sleep after the baby comes yesterday I meant to mention that you will need a baby swing. If you do not have one, RUN don't walk to the store and purchase one. I didn't get one until Bear was a couple of months old and I swear those things are covered in magic sleepy baby dust. I bought a used one for $25.00 and my life improved dramatically. Those women who tell you that you won't have time to take a shower once the baby comes obviously never owned one. When all else failed the baby swing always stepped in for me.
I think you've just made me even more frightened of the internet -- do I need to know how people find my blog???
And don't hesitate to take the Tylenol PM -- its just a combo of tylenol and benadryl, perfectly safe, and there's no reason you should not be sleeping during your law school break!
Useful, yet disturbing, information! I did not know this was possible! Thanks for the info. on the travel website. I found a package through US Airways that doesn't look half-bad. Now I just have to get over my guilt over spending the money!
I come here looking for dirty naked bowels and this is what I get?!
This is...well, actually this is pretty damn good too. Not as good as dirty naked bowels but easily a close second.
Usually my number one google search hit on The Bloggess is "funbags". Those people must be so disappointed.
I'm one of the reasons you get hits from Massachusetts, probably not all (I don't think). And can you imagine what its like to have a gay parenting blog? The things people are into - and they end up at my goofy site!
I've always been a little disappointed that my site never has any kinky Google searches.
A warm, fuzzy feeling abounded I'm sure on learning that you are NOT alone with your Volvo. I too have (sorry, had) a lot of readers from Massachussets (have I spelled that correctly? I'm sorry, I'm English) but I have an explanation for that. I love the search thing - my favourite fairly regular one was "Is wearing green on Thursday gay?"
I don't know how to do all of that, but I have heard of others watching how people find them. I figure what I don't know don't hurt me, right?!?! Ignorance is bliss :-)
that is hilarious, how did you get that, iw anna know who searched my blog!
When I had a blog, I kept getting hits from searches about sneezing. One of them emailed me about allergies and I followed her email address back. It was a group that got turned on by anything about sneezing and colds.
I completely don't get it. People are really very strange.
Hello!
So soon to go, lucky you!
It's better than you can imagine.
K
PS ko san road (not spelt right i'm sure) family friendly? I was there years ago, 1992 I think, and it was very squalid.
(But strangely fun: thus i was helping research child sex tourism so went on a trip with a load of monks and nuns to a sexy dance bar. Which was wierd. However the men in general, the tourists hunting the little kids, turned my stomach).
Hope this comment does not get you wierder hits.
The one I seem to get most often is "boys hairless butts." And no, I do NOT have THAT kind of blog lol.
Two words. MOTHER OBSESSION.
This is pretty crazy... now I am scared!
Wow!
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